


don't ever take back your kind hand

by chickenpermission



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Post-Timeskip, Pre-Timeskip, dimitri and byleth be like: hold hands, me: oh god thats true love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-07-28 20:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20070184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chickenpermission/pseuds/chickenpermission
Summary: The first, he pushes away, too fueled by anger to hold back.The second, he doesn’t believe, not when the ghosts by his side mock him.The third, he finally accepts, standing together in the downpour.The fourth, he lets lead him into the light.No matter what, Byleth is always there with a helping hand.(contains spoilers for the Blue Lions route!!)





	1. lest precious love slip away like time's sand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: little mentions of violence and also a bit of suicidal tendencies from dimitri

**I.**

The laughter that escapes his throat is unrestrained, echoing in the tomb. He can’t help but laugh. He had his suspicions, but to think the girl he cares—_ cared _ —so much for could don armour so much bigger than herself, so much more _ traitorous _ than anything Dimitri could imagine is unbelievable. Ironic, even. So the only thing he does is laugh. 

"Is this some kind of twisted joke?" The words he spits are guttural and leave no room for sympathy. Only anger and confusion.

She backs away, ever so slightly, ready to hide in her army of heretics.

He readies his lance at his side and barely registers to the sound of porcelain breaking under his foot.

He feels pressure on his shoulder. Another obstacle restricting him from his goal—from his only reason to live for the past four years. He pushes it away without another thought, without caring about who was trying to hold him back.

He’s waited long enough for this.

**II.**

Footsteps resound in the monastery, a click-clack that grows ever closer with each passing second.

Dimitri forces himself to stay awake even when his eye is screaming for sleep.

(It’s not much of a challenge to stay awake. Hasn’t been, for the past four years. The voices calling to him never cease.)

"Someone’s here." A voice—his father’s —states the obvious.

"Another Imperial soldier, most likely." Glenn was never far behind.

"Hurry, kill them." He looks up to see his step-mother staring into his soul. "Before they get the chance to kill you."

But he’s tired, oh so tired. The sun has already risen in the sky when he swears it set mere minutes ago. Sometimes, he thinks he wouldn’t mind dying, just for any rest.

The figure that arrives at the top of the stairs, that walks into the light, is familiar, but also a stranger. Dimitri squints his eye. Maybe the light is playing tricks on him.

They stay still for a few seconds, staring at him. He sees their unmistakable messy hair, almost white in the harsh sunlight. On their face is a stony expression, one he recognizes instantly. They haven’t changed a bit in these last five years. They take a few more steps. In front of him now is a hand.

He tears his gaze away.

"I should’ve known…that one day,” in the corner of his eye, he sees their hand twitch, a sign of hesitation, “you would be haunting me as well.”

**III.**

The sky empties out its cries on him. He’s too furious to think anything of it. 

Rodrigue gave up his life for his. Once again, Dimitri was forced to watch as someone he loved died right in front of him. His clenches his fist, sure that his palm would be scarred by fingernails had he not been wearing gloves. 

That damned girl…he wants to snap her neck, and he’s sure he could do so if given the chance. This is her fault.

Or perhaps it is Edelgard’s as well. This war has been going on for so long, Everyone is being driven to madness by that bastard’s ways.

Or maybe it was his own. He looks down at his hands and opens his palms. Mere hours ago, he held onto Rodrigue’s body as the light in his eyes faded away. 

Why hadn’t he realized that the girl was out to kill him? He has become too soft ever since Byleth’s reappearance. He should’ve kept his eye open more and should’ve refused that girl’s request to join.

She shouldn’t have been on the battlefield anyway—she’s far too young to be of any use in battle. Surely someone…surely he would have noticed her hiding away with a dagger.

The most important question hangs heavy over him, grim and unavoidable, when he would very much rather ignore it.

As she readied herself to plunge the knife into his back, he didn’t move. He understood her. The need for revenge was likely the only force that drove her since the day her brother died. He had killed without remorse for so long, even murdering the children he once taught how to fight. He deserved this. No one else would give him penance worthy of his sins, than a girl who seeks revenge the same way he does.

So he didn’t move. And this was the result.

He has to keep moving forward now and march straight to Enbarr. He has to finish what he started. For father, stepmother, Glenn, and now Rodrigue…

That heathen will pay for her crimes.

A figure walks in front of him and blocks his path.

“What do you want?” He briefly considers pushing them aside, though he suddenly can’t find the energy to do so .

“Where are you going?” Their soft voice, even in the harsh downpour, sounds loud in his ears.

“It doesn’t concern you.” He’s walking around them when a hand grabs his wrist.

“It does.” They move back in front of him.

“Get out of my way,” Dimitri rips his wrist away from their grasp, “now.”

“You’re going to Enbarr, aren’t you?” Their voice, no longer soft, but stern, drowns out the thunder around them. “Do you really think that will appease the dead?”

“Silence.” His breathing is ragged now, as if years of running and fighting have finally caught up to him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

It is now when Dimitri realizes that he misses their vacant stare. It was far better than the disappointment he sees in their eyes.

“Death is the end. No matter how much lingering regret a person has, after death, they are powerless. They cannot even wish for revenge, much less seek it out.”

Silence is normal. A lack of reaction whatsoever isn’t.

“Hatred. Regret. Those burdens fall on the shoulders of those who are left behind,” the screams of that cursed day echo in his mind. “And so I must continue down this path! I already told you as much! It is far too late to stop…”

“You’re wrong.”

He sees pity in their eyes and he can’t stand it.

“Do not waste your breath with some nonsense about how I should move on with my life for their sake. That is merely the logic of the living. It’s meaningless. Those who died with lingering regret…they will not loose their hold on me so easily.”

Dimitri turns away from them, faces the sky, and closes his eyes. The rain soothes him, grounds him, reminds him where he is at this moment. 

“But you seem to have all the answers…so tell me, Byleth.” Their name rolls awkwardly off his tongue. He feels like he doesn’t have the right to say it, or ask his question.

“How do I silence their desperate pleas? How do I…” he swallows, “how do I save them? Ever since that day nine years ago…I have only lived to avenge the fallen. Even my time at the Officers Academy was all so that I could secure my revenge and clear away the regret of the dead. It was the only thing that kept me alive…” he opens his eyes and looks down on Byleth again. “My only reason to keep moving forward.”

Byleth takes a step closer.

“You must forgive yourself.”

He doesn’t understand why Byleth looks so apologetic.

He stares at the ground between their feet, though the gap is almost nonexistent.

“But then who—or what—should I live for?”

Their answer is immediate.

“Live for what you believe in.”  


“What I believe in…” he notices their fingers twitch, as if trying to hold onto something. “Rodrigue said the same thing. But is it possible…I am a murderous monster. My hands are stained red. Could one such as I truly hope for such a life?”

He hears start to speak, but he finishes before they start.

“As the sole survivor of that day, do I…do I have the right to live for myself?”

There is no response. Instead, he grabs onto the hands Byleth holds out in front of him.

He wonders if it is obvious that he’s crying, or if the rain is masking his tears.

“Your hands are so warm…have they always been?” 

He sees Byleth’s pained expression and hears them sniffle as they wrap their arms around his shoulders and run a hand through his hair.

He’s shocked at first. He can’t remember the feeling of being so close to someone like this. It feels foreign, as foreign as the feeling on the day Byleth reached out a hand to help him off the ground.

It takes him a few seconds before he hugs them back, almost clinging onto them as if his life depended on it, and he cries onto the top of their head. 

**IV.**

He stares down at the emperor, at the girl he has wanted to murder for nine years. 

He remembers the days they first met. El was more refined than he was, even though they were the same age. She was taller than him, at first, but as a year passed, they stood at eye level to each other.

He remembers meeting her again, introducing himself to her and the future leader of the Alliance. She was so much shorter. Dimitri stifled a laugh—he couldn’t disrespect the Adrestian heir when he was meant to be a proper Faerghusian prince. It wouldn’t bode well as future leaders of their countries (though he wondered if it would be fine to do so as friends).

Now, though, with her monstrous form stripping away, El looks…defeated and small. So small, that it brings him back to their first memories together. He can’t help himself from reminiscing. He’s always promised himself to hold each important memory dear. He doesn’t want to forget anyone.

He also doesn’t want there to be a reason to forget her. She’s been defeated. Her final resort has failed. Hunched over now, he thinks he understands what Byleth saw all those months ago. It seems like only yesterday when he was still shackled by the ghosts of his past.

He doesn’t want El to live the same way.

She deserves forgiveness, just like he had.

She deserves support.

She deserves to live.

He wonders if this is what went through Byleth’s mind as well, when he reaches out a hand and smiles.

She stares at him, gaze inscrutable. Then she smiles. Her hand moves…

...to reach under her cape.

He feels like a fool for ever staying hopeful.

He’s so numb after that fight, adrenaline carrying him through new wounds and scars that should hurt like hell. This moment, however, makes him feel so hyperaware. He pulls Areadbhar out, tries to ignore how it feels, tries to ignore the sound of blood and the sight of her dead body crumpling.

He pulls out the dagger in his shoulder and drops it. His shoulder stings. The dagger clangs on the floor. His heart aches as he thinks about their last reunion.

"_ Thank you. My dear, forgotten friend…because of you, I never lost my heart." _

It was the kindest that El had been since they were children. Dimitri still thought that she could be saved.

He hears the sound of Byleth’s heels stepping down the stairs, so he follows.

El—no, Edelgard—is just one more ghost. She’s just one more voice, taunting his every move. He hopes the others are satisfied, they’ve been speaking less ever since he found his grip on reality—

"You poor, naïve fool." His stepmother’s voice chides him. "What happened to serving her head on a platter? She’s wanted to kill you for years, and unlike you, won’t hesitate for a moment of kindness."

The other ghosts stayed silent.

"Pathetic. I always knew my daughter to be more worthy than you could ever be."

Had Edelgard been as cold and ruthless from the start? No, something must have happened to her. He thinks back to her kindness that day he gave her the dagger again. She claimed the girl he knew died years ago, but that couldn’t have been fake, it had to be a part of her as well. If only Dimitri used words instead of a hand, maybe he could hear her kindness once again—

"_ You will prove a lacking ruler if you cannot see the truth behind a person’s words." _

Her words from five and a half years ago ring out in his ears. He’s not sure if it’s his mind replaying the moment, or if she has joined his haunters.

He turns around, thinking he can spare a glance at her corpse before all he’ll ever know is a ghost.

He feels something warm in his hand and turns back. Byleth’s face is one of regret and pain, saying "I’m sorry," without any words. Yet, they still look forward, past the doors of the throne room and into the light, gripping onto Dimitri.

He follows them, and will follow them wherever they ask, for the rest of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again algjlkadj i'm not good at using ao3 so i'm trying to edit some stuff...
> 
> i originally wrote some mean stuff about edelgard here and i wanna say i'm sorry edelgard...past me from 2 months ago was too mean...you deserve better...
> 
> in all seriousness, i'd love to write a fic where she survives post-BL (because dammit she deserves to live in a route other than her own).
> 
> thank you for reading this! <3


	2. An Evening Exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V.  
In which Dimitri offers his hand first.

“Well, your Grace, things will be busy from now on. Our first order of business is tomorrow’s coronation. Once a professor and student…now an archbishop and king. Look at how far we’ve come.”

“Only our titles have changed, you know.” They smile and Dimitri feels his chest swell with emotion. “You…you’re still the kind man you were all those years ago. Hardworking and earnest, always ready to lend a hand.”

Dimitri wants to praise them as well, but they go on. 

“Do you remember when we first came up here together?”

“You mean after the ball?”

“Yes, we came up here to make a wish. Together. Back then, you’d joked about how you would wish for us to stay together forever.”

Dimitri laughs.

“Ah, yes. I remember saying something like that. Hard to believe it’s been five years.”

“Even so, we’re still together now. Looks like our wish came true.”

Dimitri’s smile fades away as he processes those words.  _ Our wish..? _ He doesn’t have time to question it when they speak up again.

“And I…have another wish to make with you.”

Byleth rests a hand behind their back and holds the other out.

“Will you give me your hand?”

Dimitri pauses. They’ve never asked before. He wonders what could warrant such a change. He lays his left hand on top of theirs.

“I have learned many things since coming to the monastery. Though you were my student, you taught me more about life than anyone else could. You taught me it was alright to smile and laugh, comforted me and helped me move on with my father’s death. You…taught me how hard it is to forgive others, but to keep moving on nonetheless. Most importantly, I…You…” Dimitri can’t help but notice the blush spreading through their cheeks. “You taught me how to fall in love. How to keep supporting those you love and guide them through their hardships. We’ve been through so much together already, and I’d love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.” They pull out their hand from behind their back, revealing a silver ring between their fingers. “Will you marry me, Dimitri?” 

Dimitri’s mouth hangs open for a few seconds and he finds himself unable to respond, despite having planned out this exact scenario in his mind before. It’s just…he never expected Byleth to propose first.

“I, yes, of course I will! But…”

Their hand lowers the ring.

“But?”

Dimitri, using his other hand, pulls out a ring.

“I wanted to propose to you first.”

Byleth’s eyes widen at that and he sees their ears grow redder. 

They share a laugh together, alone in the goddess tower, with only the setting sun as their witness. Dimitri thinks that this is the first time he’s ever seen them smile that wide. 

“Well then, let’s exchange rings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello...! i've had most of this in my files for a while but didn't post it because i was playing fe3h too much lol. i wasn't really sure on how to end it, so i just left it at that. thank you for reading! constructive criticism appreciated :)

**Author's Note:**

> please do not spoil any other routes in the comments below & thank you for reading!


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